I'm not strong

I’m not strong.
Here is what I’m realizing: I think a lot of people that are walking through really hard things are just are moving forward. From the far seats I think we can look at others and think they have some sort of super hero abilities. Of course I am sure there are some amazingly strong people full of faith that walk in unafraid to pain & suffering. Not me.

๐—œ ๐—ฎ๐—บ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฏ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜ƒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜†. ๐—” ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜‚๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐˜€, ๐—ถ๐˜’๐˜€ ๐—ท๐˜‚๐˜€๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ.

And when people tell me “you are so strong” I feel like yelling “I’m living a lie”, shaking them & saying “I was crying so hard in my doctors office yesterday he had to leave and go get an extra box of tissue.” I was hoping to leave my infusion port in since I’ll be spending 5 days this week getting high does of steroids but I started to have panic back to my HG PICC line months so I’ll be getting poked everyday. We are trying to calm the symptoms causing real disability in my body right now and as a sat in the MS specialist office I saw many fellow warriors in wheelchairs come & go & I had to run to the restroom to splash cool water on my face to calm down the fear of the future.
๐—” ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ฟ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ต ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜‚๐—น๐˜๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฏ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ธ๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜€- ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ฟ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ต ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜† ๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐˜† & ๐—œ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—น๐—ฒ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฒ ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ท๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜† ๐—ข๐—ฅ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐—š๐—ผ๐—ฑ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ด๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—œ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—น๐—ฒ- ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ถ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜† ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ฆ๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฝ๐˜๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฒ- ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ง๐—›๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ถ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜† ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—œ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—น๐—ฒ. ๐—›๐—ฒ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—บ๐—ฒ.
I need that right now. In Jesus’ upside down kingdom it is true that we are strong when we are weak. I’m trying to rest in that today because I’m weak. ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’ช
Blessings to you in your hard friends❤

A childhood friend sent this encouragement:
Just because you feel weak and broken, does not mean you are. Facing this disease with determination and a desire to win is courageous and strong. Ultimately, God is your strength and victory. “But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through the Lord Jesus Christ.”

                                             

Comments

Most popular posts