this man

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continues to amaze me.

When I married him we were 'in love' but that love was the sort that was innocent, fresh, untested. Still beautiful but different. Let's be honest: we were fetuses really. Too young to know what we were really getting into. Full of hope, ready for the unknown, seeking adventure, and sure we would always feel like this. Thankfully I was wrong...at least about the always feeling the same part. I love him more now than when we started this twisting, turning, bumpy journey full of ups and downs 10 years ago. Because I know him more. And I am more known.

I know his joys, his struggles, his fears, his passions. He fiercely loves his girls and me and although in my former feminist swaying days I would say I would never "want" a strong man in the tradition sense of the word I am so grateful I have one. He always is reaching towards loving me the way Christ loves the Church. He is strong and vulnerable, leading while at the same time always being a fully invested partner to me. His strength and leadership allows me to be more fully me. He reigns in my craziness as only he can. His affinity for reason and level-headedness balances my love for the seemingly impossible and my emotional wreck of a self. He gives power and plans to our dreams. His protection envelopes our family and I feel safe. He has such a soft heart and is growing and being changed and I get to see it. And it makes me love him more.

We both jumped into to living here without the slightest idea what it really would mean for us. He was taken away from a life he liked. We liked. No, loved most days. From doing something he was "good at" and felt comfortable in being able to provide for his family and be "certain" in. He traded that to follow what he clearly heard God speak to us. He led the charge on days I was scared or feeling unwilling. He gave up comfort to seek obedience. We both came here and were/are basically idiots; unsure of how to communicate, how to really help, how to live but we trusted. Jason trusted and had faith even when he struggled so to see how things would ever work out. Some days I just love watching who he is becoming and how God is using him. He has come home several times to tell of what God is doing here and had to fight back his tears. Because he is doing what he is supposed to be doing and to see God work is an amazing privilege. He also releases me to follow my passions. Even when that means sacrifice for us and him personally. And it always does. He listens. He provides. He leads. He feels. He laughs. He prays. He loves. Me. His girls. His family. The people here. And His Father. I am so grateful he is my partner in this life.
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my prayer for him today is...
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on.... Ephesians 6

Comments

Gma Rho said…
Your words about Jason warm my heart. I feel grateful that God allowed me and Jim to bring him into this world and to raise him, and now to see him with such faith and dedication to God's leading and to his family. And it's wonderful to know that he is so loved and appreciated by you. Marriage is a tough road, and so many fail even living here with so many frills and "things" to make it easier. But to see yours flourish in a place where life is difficult and full of numerous challenges every day, and to see you two so united in your work and vision, brings me a lot of happiness. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! And Jason looks so handsome in that picture - so glad he's my son!!
What a beautiful tribute to your man! I am forever in awe over the fact that God's grace allowed me to marry the perfect guy when I was so young and silly. :)
Beth said…
Simply lovely. I love you and I love our Awesome God. What beautiful hearts He has blessed you both with.

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